Friday, September 7, 2012

Fear or Faith - Which Will It Be?

On Wednesday, my husband went out of town for three days.  I only reached 36 weeks on Monday, and in the past I have had too many pre-term contractions and have felt way overdue by this time.  I had had the passing thought of, "What if I go into labor while he is out of town?"  Well, that afternoon I started to have some strong Braxton Hicks contractions.  I thought, "OK.  Fine.  They are only Braxton Hicks.  They are strong, but not regular."  They increased in frequency and intensity, but were still irregular:  Some strong and some not, some 5 and some 11 minutes apart.  I did not feel great, so I asked the older kids to put the younger kids to bed, while I went for a walk to pray and worship.  Oh, I thank the Lord for such wonderful and obedient children.  They are incredible kids!

I walked and talked to God, and I sang songs of praise.  I had contractions constantly and knew that walking could actually encourage labor, but I needed to spend the time with the Lord, so I walked.  Some contractions made me stop in my tracks.  I began to time them and they were 5-10 minutes apart of varying strength, but I talked to God about fear and faith.  I remembered that He has given me confidence throughout this pregnancy that I would carry this baby to term.  I remembered how God has healed us.  I remembered that God has kept us safe and sound throughout this pregnancy, and now is not the time to forget His assurances and to begin to fear.  I trust in my God!

I went inside and the older kids did the evening chores, while I sat on the ball and directed them.  They were pleased to help.  The contractions eased up a bit.  I took a bath, drank water, and continued to thank God for His protection.

Praise the Lord!  I slept well that night and had no more contractions.  I had only a few contractions the next day and today, and none were strong like the ones from Wednesday.  In fact, I feel so good today that I could almost forget that I am pregnant, despite the big belly.  I can even touch my toes and put on my shoes without any issues.

I believe it was a test of my faith.  Which way will I turn?  Will I lean on my own understanding based on my past experiences or will I trust in the Lord with all my heart?

God's word trumps my experiences.  It makes no difference what has occurred in any of my past pregnancies.  Science and reason say it matters.  God is bigger than that.  Nothing is impossible for Him!  His word is true!  I will believe His word and I will not base my beliefs on my experiences.

Again:  I will not interpret His word through my experiences.  My experience will reflect the truth of His word!  Praise the Lord!  He is worthy of our praise!

Update:  I am now 38 weeks pregnant.  I have not had anymore contractions like I did that first day that my husband went out of town.  I truly feel it was a spiritual attack and a temptation to give into fear.  I think things could have turned out differently if I had given into fear.

My husband had a small surgical procedure done about two days ago.  I was not worried about going into labor while he recovered, but even so I did have more Braxton Hicks contractions than usual that night.  I also had some stomach pain, which hurt intensely with every contraction.  The uterine muscle did not hurt, but my gut hurt on the top left side.  I woke up constantly through the night.  I also had a scary pregnancy dream.  Spiritual attack?  I think so.  I talked to God about it in the morning and had a great day, and then another great day today.

Every difficult event in our lives can either drive us to fear or drive us to trust our Savior.  I choose to trust my Savior.  He does not keep us out of every fire, and sometimes He allows us to be thrown into the lion's den, but he does keep us safe when we put our trust in Him.  He is our refuge in times of trouble.  Daily, I am amazed at His faithfulness.


  1. Your posts have given me great encouragement and have lead me to have faith for healing for myself and son who have been doing GAPS for over a year without success. I check back here occasionally for updates but find none. How are you doing?

    1. Hi Coreen,
      It has been a crazy year, and I have had some technical and logistical issues, which have made it difficult to post, but I am getting everything worked out. We are all doing well. We eat horribly, but it is God's love that keeps us well. We are growing spiritually and are living thankful lives. God, in His mercy, continues to teach us and gives us many opportunities to practice our faith. He is always faithful! I pray you are well. Continue to seek the Lord in all things. Eternal life is to know the Father. He tells us that if we seek Him, we WILL find Him. Be blessed!